Hosea is one of the minor prophets in the Bible.
Most people have probably never heard of him or read the book that bears his name.
But in this book is one of the most beautiful passages of scripture in the Bible to me.
Hosea was a prophet of God, contemporaries with an old Amos and a young isaiah and Micah. He may have even known Jonah.
God told Hosea to take "a wife of whoredoms"--to marry a prostitute, essentially.
Can you imagine the amount of gossip that this generated? Can you imagine what the headlines would say if Billy Graham married a prostitute? It would be perhaps the biggest church scandal ever!
But Hosea ignored the talk and married Gomer (Hows THAT for a name?) and proceeded to have three children:
1. Jezreel - Retribution
2. Loruhamah - No more mercy
3. Loammi - No longer my people
After at least two and a half years, Gomer returns to a life of prostitution. She leaves behind her children and this honorable man for a life of sin.
So did Hosea just say, "Oh, well, i guess she doesn't love me"?
NO
Even though-by Mosaic law-he had a right to divorce her and have her stoned, Hosea chose to pursue her. He found her in bondage, literally, as a slave and he bought her freedom.
Isn't that just...beautiful?
Hosea is portraying a type of Christ.
This is Christ is His most beautiful form.
He is the Lover, the Groom, always pursuing His bride, despite our sin and our constant abandonment of Him.
We leave behind the lives we've built and the One that has pursued us relentlessly.
He pursued us even when we were in bondage and bought us with the Highest Price.
Even when I had betrayed Him in every way, He loved me and wanted me.
Remember, even though you may be in bondage to pornography or alchohol or drugs or any other sin: God still loves you and He will NEVER stop pursuing you.
So stop running and let Him find you. Let Him change you.
Surrender yourself to Him.
Job 31:1
I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?
I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
The Church's Largest Secret
Over half of all men in the church are struggling with pornography.
That is a fact.
The sad part is, I had to figure this out for myself.
I have gone to church nearly all my life and I had never heard anyone talk about pornography. I didn't even know it existed. Until one day, when I was 12...
I felt like I had just walked into this secret hidden world that only I knew existed.
And it all went downhill from there.
It went from a curious interest to a mild fascination and from there is was just a hop and a skip away from obsession and addiction.
But I didn't know that anyone else struggled with this, that-in fact-the problem was far more common than not. I didn't think I had anyone to turn to.
And so I kept it a secret.
The problem with keeping your sins in the dark is that in the darkness is where sin thrives.
I was discouraged, thinking that there was no hope for me. Just a short time later, I found an amazing Christian woman who seemed to maybe kinda like me and we were married.
The issue obviously resurfaced not too long into our lives, ending our newlywed bliss.
At this point, I reached out even further, asking friends and even an older pastor I knew and trusted about it. This pastor listend and promised to help, call, and send materials...each of which never happened.
Why is it so hard to recieve help on this issue?!
I've had to look online, buy books, search the Bible and pray constantly to gain some semblence of control in my life, which usually doesn't last very long.
My wife, after almost two straight years of struggling with this issue, still has not left me and swears that she'll help me overcome this. She is the reason I've gained what little control I have over this issue.
My wife is the sweetest most lovely woman in the world. She has her faults to be sure, but she has remained by my side literally for better or worse--and there's been a whole lot more worse than better. I could not ask for a better helpmeet or person to share my life with. I thank God that He sent her into my life.
So, what help is there for those of us who have noone? Perhaps you're not lucky enough to have a wife like mine. Perhaps pornography has ruined your marriage. Perhaps you've gone everywhere looking for help, going to those you trusted only to be let down and shunned afterwards.
If this is you, there is STILL hope. You are NOT the only one who struggles with this issue.
If you have no one to talk to, I would be more than happy to help. You can email me anytime at themaninthepew@yahoo.com
And, if you need someone to talk to personally, I can either find someone in your area for you to talk to or we can set up a time to talk via phone.
Either way, I would be more than happy to help.
Remember, you are not alone. This is something that every man struggles with.
It is a war. A war for your mind, for you heart, for your marriage.
It's a war for your soul.
That is a fact.
The sad part is, I had to figure this out for myself.
I have gone to church nearly all my life and I had never heard anyone talk about pornography. I didn't even know it existed. Until one day, when I was 12...
I felt like I had just walked into this secret hidden world that only I knew existed.
And it all went downhill from there.
It went from a curious interest to a mild fascination and from there is was just a hop and a skip away from obsession and addiction.
But I didn't know that anyone else struggled with this, that-in fact-the problem was far more common than not. I didn't think I had anyone to turn to.
And so I kept it a secret.
The problem with keeping your sins in the dark is that in the darkness is where sin thrives.
I was discouraged, thinking that there was no hope for me. Just a short time later, I found an amazing Christian woman who seemed to maybe kinda like me and we were married.
The issue obviously resurfaced not too long into our lives, ending our newlywed bliss.
At this point, I reached out even further, asking friends and even an older pastor I knew and trusted about it. This pastor listend and promised to help, call, and send materials...each of which never happened.
Why is it so hard to recieve help on this issue?!
I've had to look online, buy books, search the Bible and pray constantly to gain some semblence of control in my life, which usually doesn't last very long.
My wife, after almost two straight years of struggling with this issue, still has not left me and swears that she'll help me overcome this. She is the reason I've gained what little control I have over this issue.
My wife is the sweetest most lovely woman in the world. She has her faults to be sure, but she has remained by my side literally for better or worse--and there's been a whole lot more worse than better. I could not ask for a better helpmeet or person to share my life with. I thank God that He sent her into my life.
So, what help is there for those of us who have noone? Perhaps you're not lucky enough to have a wife like mine. Perhaps pornography has ruined your marriage. Perhaps you've gone everywhere looking for help, going to those you trusted only to be let down and shunned afterwards.
If this is you, there is STILL hope. You are NOT the only one who struggles with this issue.
If you have no one to talk to, I would be more than happy to help. You can email me anytime at themaninthepew@yahoo.com
And, if you need someone to talk to personally, I can either find someone in your area for you to talk to or we can set up a time to talk via phone.
Either way, I would be more than happy to help.
Remember, you are not alone. This is something that every man struggles with.
It is a war. A war for your mind, for you heart, for your marriage.
It's a war for your soul.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The Man in the Pew
I am the man in the pew.
We look at each other and smile as we sing loudly - not necessarily well, but loud - and listen intently to the pastor's sermon.
My kids smile and steal the hearts of the nursery workers.
And I struggle with porn.
The Statistics:
"Every second-$3,075.64 is being spent on pornography.
Every second - 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography.
Every second - 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines.
Every 39 minutes: a new pornographic video is being created in the United States."
[Family Safe Media
41 percent of surveyed adults admitted they felt less attractive due to their partner's pornography use.
and
30 percent of surveyed adults said their partner's use of pornography made them feel more like a sexual object.
and
42 percent of surveyed adults indicated that their partner's use of pornography made them feel insecure.
Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1.
...And here comes the shocking news...
For every 10 men in church, 5 are struggling with pornography
The Call to Biblical Manhood. Man in the Mirror, 6 July 2004
{These statistics, including the sources, I copied from www.blazinggrace.org/cms/bg/pornstats}
So, what does this all mean?
Here's the skinny: Porn is a problem in our churches!!!
No one wants to think of the man next to them with a beautiful wife and three teenagers, or the newlyweds or the elderly man who's been married for 30 years, as having a sexual addiction, but the harsh reality is that most of them probably do!
In fact, over 50% of pastors claim that Internet pornography is a possible temptation and 37% say that they are currently struggling with it. (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001) {FROM www.safefamilies.org/sfStats.php}
Well, it just so happens, that I am one of those men!
Yes, I have had an issue with pornography for the last eight years or so (I'm not exactly sure of my age when I first encountered pornography).
Since then, I have married and had two beautiful children. And the problem persists!
I was told that it was normal and that I should just memorize verses to protect my mind when I was tempted.
I couldn't find help anywhere.
Needless to say, I felt alone and lost. So what did I do? I turned back to pornography.
Here's my last statistic: 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005 {FROM www.safefamilies.org/sfStats.php}
So, this is the question I have to ask myself, because I just don't understand it:
If it's such a major and widespread problem, why doesn't anyone do something about it?
For a man - or anyone for that matter, because there are women who have this problem as well - to approach anyone else and admit their problem and ask for help is--to be perfectly honest--HUMILIATING!!!
Men are creatures of pride and selfishness. For a man to lay aside that pride and selfishness and to ask for help takes a great deal of effort. But when they are summarily rejected, told "Don't worry about it, it's normal." and to then be shunned or worse, treated as if nothing is wrong, is shameful.
Why won't more pastor's approach this subject?
If half of the men - including pastors - in churches are addicted to pornography, why can't they at least get together and talk about the problems they are having? Maybe get some encouragement?
We are soldiers.
If we are all fighting the same battle, then why are we fighting it alone?
- The Man in the Pew
We look at each other and smile as we sing loudly - not necessarily well, but loud - and listen intently to the pastor's sermon.
My kids smile and steal the hearts of the nursery workers.
And I struggle with porn.
The Statistics:
"Every second-$3,075.64 is being spent on pornography.
Every second - 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography.
Every second - 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines.
Every 39 minutes: a new pornographic video is being created in the United States."
[Family Safe Media
41 percent of surveyed adults admitted they felt less attractive due to their partner's pornography use.
and
30 percent of surveyed adults said their partner's use of pornography made them feel more like a sexual object.
and
42 percent of surveyed adults indicated that their partner's use of pornography made them feel insecure.
Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1.
...And here comes the shocking news...
For every 10 men in church, 5 are struggling with pornography
The Call to Biblical Manhood. Man in the Mirror, 6 July 2004
{These statistics, including the sources, I copied from www.blazinggrace.org/cms/bg/pornstats}
So, what does this all mean?
Here's the skinny: Porn is a problem in our churches!!!
No one wants to think of the man next to them with a beautiful wife and three teenagers, or the newlyweds or the elderly man who's been married for 30 years, as having a sexual addiction, but the harsh reality is that most of them probably do!
In fact, over 50% of pastors claim that Internet pornography is a possible temptation and 37% say that they are currently struggling with it. (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001) {FROM www.safefamilies.org/sfStats.php}
Well, it just so happens, that I am one of those men!
Yes, I have had an issue with pornography for the last eight years or so (I'm not exactly sure of my age when I first encountered pornography).
Since then, I have married and had two beautiful children. And the problem persists!
I was told that it was normal and that I should just memorize verses to protect my mind when I was tempted.
I couldn't find help anywhere.
Needless to say, I felt alone and lost. So what did I do? I turned back to pornography.
Here's my last statistic: 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005 {FROM www.safefamilies.org/sfStats.php}
So, this is the question I have to ask myself, because I just don't understand it:
If it's such a major and widespread problem, why doesn't anyone do something about it?
For a man - or anyone for that matter, because there are women who have this problem as well - to approach anyone else and admit their problem and ask for help is--to be perfectly honest--HUMILIATING!!!
Men are creatures of pride and selfishness. For a man to lay aside that pride and selfishness and to ask for help takes a great deal of effort. But when they are summarily rejected, told "Don't worry about it, it's normal." and to then be shunned or worse, treated as if nothing is wrong, is shameful.
Why won't more pastor's approach this subject?
If half of the men - including pastors - in churches are addicted to pornography, why can't they at least get together and talk about the problems they are having? Maybe get some encouragement?
We are soldiers.
If we are all fighting the same battle, then why are we fighting it alone?
- The Man in the Pew
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